There’s a man with an ostrich,he’s got it on a lead;he’s taking it for a walk!I shouldn’t gawk. Now there’s a hawkand he’s going “squawk, squawk!”He coming at me.Woop, there goes my knee! The man with an ostrich,he’s got a cannon now.Ka-pow! Ka-pow!Ooft,...
If I had one wishI'd be a fishI'd swim the seaand make a splishIf I had one otherI'd make a brotherWe'd splish aroundWith one anotherIf a third would comeI'd make a mumTo make us smileWhen we were glumIf a fourth were hadI'd make a dadTo keep us safeFrom...
One bright and beautiful summer's day, The Jingles family --Mom, Dad and their two kids-- decided to go on a picnic and play at the park. They packed a big basket filled with submarine sandwiches, fresh fruit and their favourite delicious cookies as a spe...
A wang-wang-pede rose from 'neath the seaAnd sclobbered towards the beachOn seven and twenty tenticlawsWith a retching craw-craw screechHe flared his squinty nostrilsThen snapped his clack-clack beakHis tenticlaws grabbed man and childAnd he slapped his g...
Masterful Tony rode a masterful ponyThrough the streets of the small village fayreIt neighed and it brayedAnd clip-cloppity swayedWithout worry, nor hurry, nor care.Then old Mrs Bunyons, grabbed her sack of onionsAnd threw it on Tony's young backThe pony...
Snackin' like it's going outta fashion, I've got a smile, it's flashing. I'm happy as fuck, hear me play with my rubber duck! I got hit by a truck! Still snackin', just through a tube, at this rate, I'll lose the moobs. When I make a recovery, I'...
Little scamp looks around Then she scurries around looking for her special person Climbing up and swinging from the drapes Jumping up and down when she sees her special person Cheering when its cuddle time Giggling as she gallops around Up and dow...
I wasn't raging my attire was making me cranky. The Glad lady shows poor manners and tries to undo my dress or so I thought.What is she doing? Through the haze that lingers in the air, I see my beloved fall to the floor. This can't be the end!"Sergeant do...
Acting on impulse; farting to temporarily stun the Sargent, I pluck a cocktail umbrella from the raging woman’s dress. Impromptu dart blowing weapon fashioned with the pink straw. My jaw set as I look for my target. I only came to pay homage to the fashi...
Glad lady, inspector, a blond southern belle, no one can stop me from exacting my revenge.Over intense fiery thoughts I hear a yell."Gill it's him"It's Recycling Man our arch nemesis.G-man and I built a completely green fashion house. Dumpster diving, sca...
Looking closer, I realize who shambling man is.My ex, G, Garbageman. I should have known. He never could resist anything in polyethylene.I stand up, adjust my cocktail umbrella "dress", ready to confront that no good ex-garbageman. I'm about to grab his a...
Head throbbing I open my eyes."Why am I still in the bar?"I remember ordering a few non-virgin Hannahs. The table in front of me is covered in cocktail umbrellas. I look down aware that I am wearing an "outfit" made entirely of cocktail umbrellas. It gets...
This one's for you Lady Elizabeth!My love for you is like the most remarkable cabbage,Your face reminds me of repugnant butterflies,Together, we are like sandwiches and mayonnaise.Oh darling Elizabeth,My remarkable cabbage,My repugnant onion,The perfect c...
