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Story tag results for humor

Found 419 result(s)

Necrotizing fasciitis and Me

- I was hoping that my new psychiatrist could help me conquer my fear of going outdoors. I had just finished explaining my situation to him. “It really is true,” Dr. Merlin said. “The only thing we hav...

By: rantingsenior | Category: Humor | Score: 5| Added: 08 Jan 2013

Surrender

- Collected 'poems' about one of life's basic needs... Inkling I sort of need to pee Urgency The urge is growing increasingly... urgent Realization No restroom is within...

By: magnificent1rascal | Category: Poetry | Score: 4.9| Added: 05 Jan 2013

Beezie, Angie, Swan Lake, and Me!

- “I’ll rip off one of those dumb horns and shove it up your nose you stupid, red jerk!” Angie shouted. The angel told me that I could call her Angie. “Go ahead! Try it, you disgusting, pathetic pure w...

By: rantingsenior | Category: Humor | Score: 5| Added: 03 Jan 2013

Leaving the Darkness: Veronica’s Birthday Gift

- It’s hard to get an alert, physically fit, conscious wife into a coffin without her knowing it. Blindfolding her helps, but if it’s dark because all the lights are off it’s still a difficult task. I h...

By: rantingsenior | Category: Humor | Score: 4.4| Added: 29 Dec 2012

A Lipidinal Fantasy

- Oh to be your fellow hot tubber and share the feel of soft warm blubber as bodies sway ‘neath gleaming stars at night. How magnificent and fresh to softly caress excess flesh while we hold dampened l...

By: rantingsenior | Category: Poetry | Score: 4.7| Added: 07 Dec 2012

Christmas Eve 2064: Almost Everyone Gets the Right Gift

- “Daddy, he is soooooooo beautiful!” my eight-year-old daughter Susie cooed. He was. The magnificent white unicorn was on his hind legs. His long mane was flowing, embedded diamonds in his horn twink...

By: rantingsenior | Category: Science Fiction | Score: 5| Added: 04 Dec 2012

Depraved Christmas Misunderstandings: Happy Holidays!

- He gave me quite a whack after I grabbed his bulging sack! (Santa left his toy bag on the floor.) IF THESE OPENING LINES EVOKE A SMILE (or better a guffaw) PLEASE CONSIDER READING THE REST OF THIS...

By: rantingsenior | Category: Poetry | Score: 5| Added: 01 Dec 2012

Thanksgiving—The Mourning After

- My knees began to wobble as I heard your final gobble and the ax came down and severed off your head. I knew you had a brother and a father and a mother but I chose to see you just as food instead. ...

By: rantingsenior | Category: Poetry | Score: 5| Added: 22 Nov 2012

I Married a Soap Opera

- I have been married for 42 years. I discovered after getting married that you never really know your in-laws until then. My wife and I went to school together, grammar school and high school. I got pu...

By: frogprince | Category: Memoirs | Score: 4.3| Added: 16 Nov 2012

The Hinge (Rhymes With Thing)

- Some words that we believe exist, really don't. Our family dinner that Sunday held a certain amount of importance. It would be the first time in ages that we'd all be together at a time beside...

By: magnificent1rascal | Category: Memoirs | Score: 5| Added: 17 Nov 2012

The Spelling Bee

- Some words that don't exist, really ought to.   "The word is 'peppier,' pronounced 'pep-ee-ay'," announced the spelling bee moderator. "Definition, please," replied the entrant, launchin...

By: magnificent1rascal | Category: Flash Fiction | Score: 5| Added: 11 Nov 2012

Of Love and Peristalsis

- Silently we touched in bed. I offered you my shoulder and you laid down your head. I celebrated the smell of your skin and your hair. I thanked god Himself that you were there! And then for the first...

By: rantingsenior | Category: Poetry | Score: 5| Added: 09 Nov 2012

The Hospital Blues

- Have you ever had to be in a hospital? I'm not talking about visiting a sick friend or an injured relative. I mean have you, personally, ever needed the services of a hospital? If your answer...

By: Rascal | Category: Humor | Score: 4.1| Added: 04 Nov 2012

The Halloween Trolling Blues

- I hit the sack with some old witch I figured had to be quite rich. But she flew out when I ran out of candy. Then I was tricked by this young brat who dumped me for a big black cat. She told me that ...

By: rantingsenior | Category: Poetry | Score: 5| Added: 02 Nov 2012

The Secret Life of Bellingham Sam

-   This story contains mature themes * * * Sam was startled — and annoyed — by the blaring of a car horn while he sat parked along with a thousand other drivers on Interstate 5. What exactly di...

By: magnificent1rascal | Category: Humor | Score: 5| Added: 01 Nov 2012

Halloween or not Halloween

- There were times when stories were told Wide eyed..open mouths We listened earnestly Believed totally. Ghosts were everywhere  Invisible Follows us in the dark Waits for the opportunity...

By: chocolate_lover | Category: Poetry | Score: 5| Added: 31 Oct 2012

Poetry Contests

- I have entered so many contests, And I’m starting to wonder why, Just sitting here thinking about it, Makes me want to cry. I always try to do my best, To make my words compelling, I make...

By: DirtyMartini | Category: Poetry | Score: 4.9| Added: 28 Oct 2012

Rainy Nights

- random thoughts on a rainy night rain drops falling thunder booming lighting cracking power flickering dog hiding where are the matches and the candles darkness tripping over furniture no T...

By: fuzzy1954 | Category: Poetry | Score: 5| Added: 20 Oct 2012

My Almost Intimate Massage

- « Did the Waitress Just Wink at Me? Today, dear readers, the exploration of my sexual identity continues. As you loyal bloggies — if people who write blogs are bloggers, those who read them mus...

By: magnificent1rascal | Category: Flash Fiction | Score: 4.6| Added: 17 Oct 2012

Critters

- Let me tell you about my pets. I wonder why they're known as pets, because you pet them? Can't be, nobody pets a goldfish, do they? I've seen people pet a parrot, damn near lost a finger, too....

By: Rascal | Category: Musings | Score: 5| Added: 14 Oct 2012

The Story Behind My Little Angel

- This is the story surrounding the beginning of my family. I was born and raised in Central Massachusetts. My wife was born in Germany and came to this country as a displaced person from World War II. ...

By: frogprince | Category: Drama | Score: 5| Added: 09 Oct 2012

Political Banter

- Once again it’s that time of year, When political banter seems the rage. When otherwise normal people, Try to come off as some worldly sage. I have friends who are really nice folks, Any ot...

By: DirtyMartini | Category: Poetry | Score: 4.7| Added: 07 Oct 2012

The Blind Date chapter two

- This is written as a stand alone story but might be better understood by reading the first chapter Bill and Veronica had fallen in love under unusual circumstances. They had met on a blind da...

By: Rascal | Category: Romance | Score: 3.9| Added: 06 Oct 2012

The Blind Date

- If anyone likes this I'll continue with it. “Bill, you have to help me out! “I do, huh? Why do I?' “Come on, haven't we been friends since grade school? Think of all the times I've helped yo...

By: Rascal | Category: Romance | Score: 5| Added: 04 Oct 2012

Your Death: Thinking Outside the Box

- By using today’s technology you can lessen the pain that your passing causes loved ones. All it takes is a little bit of planning and the help of a trusted friend. What follows are observations and ...

By: rantingsenior | Category: Humor | Score: 5| Added: 03 Oct 2012

Avatars

- As I have perused the profile pages of our membership I have often wondered why people have chosen to use the pseudonyms and pictures they have decided on. So I have decided to do an analysis of thi...

By: Rascal | Category: Humor | Score: 5| Added: 24 Sep 2012

Mojo Missing

- I have a friend who says she lost her mojo. Where it went she says she doesn’t really know. She swears she has looked high and low. Now where the hell could a mojo go? I asked her if she look...

By: Dreamcatcher | Category: Poetry | Score: 5| Added: 25 Sep 2012

The Drunk Succeeds

- I've tried to write this as a stand alone story but might be better understood if you first read “The Town Drunk” which can be found on my page. David Meyer and his partner, Emmett Wolf, had becom...

By: Rascal | Category: Crime | Score: 2.8| Added: 23 Sep 2012

The Town Drunk

- Dave was a slight man, looking years older than his actual age, and showing no vestiges of prosperity, even looking quite shabby, which led to the name almost everyone knew him by, Shoddy. He didn't...

By: Rascal | Category: Humor | Score: 2.7| Added: 20 Sep 2012

Golden Years

- I have heard it said, that at my age life is golden. What was meant when these words were spoken? Reaching this time of life, I find to be anything but golden. Old age leaving my body less flexible ...

By: CKAcres | Category: Poetry | Score: 5| Added: 16 Sep 2012

The Fantastic Voyage of Bellingham Sam

- Coffee. What Sam needed was coffee. He was a walking zombie, desperate for caffeine. It was a condition of his own making, he had to admit, since he was the one who'd wanted to drive on their family...

By: magnificent1rascal | Category: Humor | Score: 4.9| Added: 13 Sep 2012 Editor's Pick

The Beast

- The Beast is the older of our two grain trucks. I better describe it , so that you have a picture in your mind of what it really is like. Its a 1968 Dodge grain/dump truck, built like a tank, unli...

By: Kari | Category: Humor | Score: 5| Added: 05 Sep 2012

The Art of Making A Manwich

- As a young boy growing up in the poorer section of Indianapolis I can remember many meals that consisted of just soup and a sandwich. Keep in mind back in my day we didn’t have supermarkets. Only loc...

By: Dreamcatcher | Category: Musings | Score: 4.8| Added: 03 Sep 2012

How to Feel Younger without Exercising or Dieting

- Want to feel ten years younger? If you’re between forty and eighty-nine years old you can; just use the techniques that follow. (If you’re ninety or older these techniques will not work. Nothing will....

By: rantingsenior | Category: Humor | Score: 5| Added: 02 Sep 2012

Rianna

- Well, I now finally had my goat. I had waited for this for an awfully long time. There was just one problem now. How was I going to get the dogs to accept her and vise versa ? I lay in bed that nig...

By: Kari | Category: Humor | Score: 5| Added: 26 Aug 2012

How I Got My First Goat

- To set this story in the proper time and place, I have to take you back to my teen years. Back a few years to my first encounter with a goat. I was visiting a friend on the outskirts of the City. Marg...

By: Kari | Category: Humor | Score: 4.8| Added: 19 Aug 2012

In Defense of Seniors Stalking Young Women: One Senior Speaks Out

- A recent posting echoed the popular belief that it is inappropriate for senior males to stalk younger women. Though understandable this belief is misguided. When a senior stalks a young lady the senio...

By: rantingsenior | Category: Musings | Score: 5| Added: 20 Aug 2012

The Cat's Tale

- It all began with my person reading an article about cats being only semi-domestic, most would readily become feral if the occasion arose. “Ha, a lot they know about cats!” Thus was interrupted my p...

By: SKH38 | Category: Action | Score: 4.8| Added: 19 Aug 2012

Farm Tales

- Farm Tales Firstly, let me tell you a little about myself. My name’s Kari and I am an import. What’s an import you say? It means that I either am from another country or the city. In my case it’s...

By: Kari | Category: Humor | Score: 4.9| Added: 16 Aug 2012

The Packing Error: A Spoiled Romantic Getaway

- The years had passed as had desire. We simply didn’t have the fire that once consumed us many years ago. But you still ached to feel that spark that once caused magic in the dark. To feel your p...

By: rantingsenior | Category: Poetry | Score: 5| Added: 13 Aug 2012

The 13th Floor

- I am not superstitious. The company decided to put everyone together and the 13th floor is what was open. Perhaps they purposely built this floor out last, because who would want to start on the 13th...

By: GeekToAuthor | Category: Humor | Score: 4.3| Added: 20 Jul 2012

This is me

- My hairs too long, my body too short. When I laugh really hard, sometime I snort. My belly too round, my backside too wide. No matter what I do I can never hide. Touch my toes? What a silly dream. ...

By: wildrose_girl | Category: Poetry | Score: 4.6| Added: 08 Jul 2012

Devil's Art Work

- Dark morning clouds filled with smoke. Horizon appearing to cough and choke. Outside edges lined in crimson flame. Looks like the devil is at work again. The sky on fire, alight with embers. Hang...

By: CKAcres | Category: Poetry | Score: 4.6| Added: 03 Jul 2012

A Mistress to Many

- Today, dear reader, I muse. I muse about a love affair that has consumed me for a good part of this summer. The beginning of the summer saw me and my unwilling mistress spend a lot of time together. I...

By: fifafan | Category: Musings | Score: 5| Added: 27 Jun 2012

The Man Goes Shopping — But Not at the Store

- The man called out — there was something to see! Quickly the wife pondered what it might be. His voice held not a hint of worry or stress. Indeed, was that a tone of happiness? Following the sound s...

By: magnificent1rascal | Category: Poetry | Score: 5| Added: 23 Jun 2012

For A Dear Friend’s New Baby

- The newly born emerges in innocence. A new life’s journey begins soon. But as I gaze upon him I see not an angel. I see a prune. The countenance is a shriveled, purple, wrinkly mass. The pate is...

By: rantingsenior | Category: Poetry | Score: 4.8| Added: 22 Jun 2012

If I Badmouth My Ex In The Forest but Nobody Hears…?

- Many years ago an acquaintance asked me, “Do you hate your ex-wife?” “Of course not!” I replied as we strolled about the grounds. “Why would you think that?” “Well,” he responded, “she deserted yo...

By: rantingsenior | Category: Musings | Score: 5| Added: 20 Jun 2012

Happy Ending

- I generally do not like massages. There is something about a fully clothed stranger touching me while naked that resonates weird in my mind. It brings to mind the clinical setting of my doctor’s ...

By: Jackson_Banks | Category: Humor | Score: 4.9| Added: 18 Jun 2012

The One No One Ever Talks About

- Everyone has them somewhere in their family tree. You know. The great-great grandfather no one will talk about because he was hung as a “hoss thief”. Or the distant cousin who died penniless because ...

By: Dreamcatcher | Category: Musings | Score: 4.8| Added: 13 Jun 2012

The Mermaid Who Needed CPR: The Legend of Agapetos and Adonia

- I fell in love with her the first time I saw her. I found out later that often happens when men meet mermaids. I still smile and feel warm and giddy inside when I remember the very first words that sh...

By: rantingsenior | Category: Humor | Score: 5| Added: 09 Jun 2012

Honeybee

- Today I was sitting as I often do, smelling the roses, sprinkled with dew. A bee came along doing its work, probing the flowers, not one to shirk. Amazing I found this to be, as I watched tiny ...

By: CKAcres | Category: Poetry | Score: 4.8| Added: 08 Jun 2012

Two Humorous Stories

- Fruit Trees and Stupid People; My trees are full of fruit, my neighbors gather in groups. Oranges and Grapefruit everywhere, and there goes my neighbor,.. ( in his underwear. I give them away for...

By: 0riginalLinda | Category: Poetry | Score: 4.8| Added: 08 Jun 2012

The Eighth Color Of The Rainbow

- What is a rainbow but a colored arch, With dreams at each end to wish for. Seven hues and shades from a color chart, Just one of many beauties from nature’s store. Each rainbow the same made f...

By: Dreamcatcher | Category: Poetry | Score: 5| Added: 05 Jun 2012

My Therapy Success: Overcoming Inappropriate Joking and Homonymphobia

- As I looked at my new psychiatrist Dr. Milford, I could see the gears turning. He had one of those transparent clocks in front of him on his desk. I could also see that he was thinking about what I ha...

By: rantingsenior | Category: Humor | Score: 5| Added: 04 Jun 2012

Country Boy's Wish

- A country boy I have always been, crowded places make me cringe. Open spaces are where I thrive, away from the city's fringe. Out where not many dare to venture, is where I always want to be. Walkin...

By: CKAcres | Category: Poetry | Score: 4.7| Added: 18 May 2012

There are No Long-Term Consequences When You’re Old!

- A wondrous thing that happens as your exit becomes near, is that bad “long-term” consequences need not cause you fear! Bottom line: there’s no “long-term” when soon you’ll see your savior! The ...

By: rantingsenior | Category: Poetry | Score: 5| Added: 16 May 2012

To San Francisco, With Apathy

- I wonder how many packages like this are sent through the mail everyday. Dozens? Thousands? Millions? Tiny envelopes or large boxes filled with the belongs of someone you used to know. T-shirts, phot...

By: ChemicalSunrise | Category: Musings | Score: 4.2| Added: 14 May 2012

On Cyber-Sex and Bandwidth

- I saw her photos on her wall and I thought I’d give her a call and so that night we videoed with Skype. I looked at her, she looked at me and in an instant we could see that we both felt we were...

By: rantingsenior | Category: Poetry | Score: 4.7| Added: 11 May 2012

Arrested By The Grammar Police

- It seems that lately I can’t get no peace, From all those so-called Grammar Police, Who for some reason think that I should care, The difference between there, they’re and their. They want to analy...

By: DirtyMartini | Category: Poetry | Score: 4.9| Added: 06 May 2012

On Poetry and Pain

- It is a blessing that we cry if love we have begins to die and thus we have to face life all alone. If hubby smacks us in the head or wifey cheats in our own bed or doggy chokes on a soft sirloi...

By: rantingsenior | Category: Poetry | Score: 4.9| Added: 05 May 2012

Daffy Phonetic Definitions---A Musing in Rhyme

- cantankerous - we cannot drop our anchor anyplace. alternate - do plastic surgery on Nathan’s face. bargain - to totally ban the making of a profit. rufie - one who likes to hang around a soffit. ...

By: rantingsenior | Category: Musings | Score: 4.9| Added: 03 May 2012

What Can I Change to Make You Love Me?

- You must believe me when I say I love you. There has to be a way to make you see. Whatever change I must make I will do it. I pray that you will listen to my plea. Do you want me to become much t...

By: rantingsenior | Category: Poetry | Score: 5| Added: 01 May 2012

Dear Poem - it's me, God (just kidding)...It's me ,your maker, now buy me a drink!

- ‘It’s time’ I said ‘to write me another rhyme’ and nagging doubt set in and I thought( Stop rolling your eyes - I do that, sometimes) It’s been so long, the voices chiming to get out have stilled....

By: Louise | Category: Poetry | Score: 4.8| Added: 13 Apr 2012

The Messy House Blues

- I look around my messy place and feel the flushing in my face because my home is in an unkempt state. I try to find some peace upstairs ignoring carpet stains and tears and seek a place to chill...

By: rantingsenior | Category: Poetry | Score: 4.3| Added: 13 Apr 2012

Nature's Humor

- Mother Nature has her say. Today is April Fools' Day. Awakening April 1st a delight. Ground all covered with white. Her humor, is she making a joke? Birds and flowers taking a poke. Everyone l...

By: CKAcres | Category: Poetry | Score: 4.8| Added: 01 Apr 2012

Filling Literary Voids II: Erotic Chewing Gum Haikus

- On Anticipating Chewing Gum I want to taste you. I want you to make me moist. My mouth awaits you. On Enjoying Chewing Gum You pass through my lips. My tongue caresses your form. I taste y...

By: rantingsenior | Category: Poetry | Score: 4.8| Added: 01 Apr 2012

A Thousand Thoughts

- Here and there and everywhere, A thousand thoughts invade my mind. Some are private but most are shared, As each one is released there are many more behind. I wonder at so many things, In a...

By: Dreamcatcher | Category: Poetry | Score: 5| Added: 27 Mar 2012

Passion: Young vs. Senior

- Younger couples twist and turn to try exotic positions. Senior couples try but then wind up at their physicians. Soft young kisses in the morning lead to passionate shrieking. Seniors’ kiss when t...

By: rantingsenior | Category: Poetry | Score: 5| Added: 26 Mar 2012

Heaven, Hell, Afterlife, Schmafterlife…..Just Take It Slow and Enjoy!

- Some claim after our final breath a soul survives the body’s death and some kind of an afterlife begins. Other’s say that when we die and utter our last earthly cry we’re dust and just wind up i...

By: rantingsenior | Category: Poetry | Score: 4.6| Added: 19 Mar 2012

The Age of Fantasy

- At 10 your life begins and you don’t seem to have a care. You soar to heights with your first kiss and fly where eagles dare. Then you notice different friends who have so many curves and cur...

By: Dreamcatcher | Category: Poetry | Score: 4.9| Added: 14 Mar 2012

Where Does The Missing Sock Go?

- An irritating thing in life that really gets me pissed, is searching for the one damn sock that invariably gets missed. I take great care to fill my washer with sock pairs that match. But somehow ...

By: rantingsenior | Category: Poetry | Score: 4.9| Added: 10 Mar 2012

Chosen Occupation

- I think it is a good thing that for my life's profession, I never chose to became a chef. I would have specialized in desserts. Cakes, doughnuts, pies, delicious puddings, custards and cheesecak...

By: CKAcres | Category: Musings | Score: 4.8| Added: 08 Mar 2012

Complication

- C onfusing the issues with the written word, O ften happens when trying to M ake another understand your intent with written words alone. P roblems arise when an uneducated person like m...

By: CKAcres | Category: Poetry | Score: 4.7| Added: 02 Mar 2012

Hermit's Existence

- I think I have found the answer to a question, asked myself many times. How I can live life free, never causing another person any hurt or despair? Become a recluse and live all by myself, never ...

By: CKAcres | Category: Musings | Score: 5| Added: 09 Feb 2012

The Erotica Troll

- Kandikizz51 is a writer and many of her poems and stories can be read online on various websites. Some of them can be read here on Erotica. Like many of the writers here, she has been pestered by a tr...

By: kandikiss51 | Category: Humor | Score: 3.8| Added: 31 Jan 2012

Verbal Diarrhea

- Verbal diarrhea a terrible affliction, once started, becomes an addiction. Brain in neutral, tongue wagging, popularity, now certainly lagging. Words spewing without control, ears closed, no one c...

By: CKAcres | Category: Poetry | Score: 5| Added: 30 Jan 2012

All this and stretch marks too!

- As little girls we are given pretty little dolls to play with in order to nurture our natural motherly instincts. Sometimes the dolls would cry, perhaps even wee their tiny plastic diapers. We would n...

By: Celeste | Category: Musings | Score: 5| Added: 29 Jan 2012

Unanswered Questions

- Why do I some days not want to go outside? Why do I curl into a ball not able to move? Why do I some days desire to run and hide? Why do I choose to withdraw not improve? Why do I seem forever stuck...

By: CKAcres | Category: Poetry | Score: 5| Added: 24 Jan 2012

Paths

- Some are short Some are long Some turn left Some turn right Some lead up a hill Some lead down Some appear bright Some appear dark Some lead straight through Some lead to dead ends Some ...

By: CKAcres | Category: Poetry | Score: 4.7| Added: 01 Jan 2012

untitled

- When we kissed, it ignited a fire Every kiss filled me with desire. But my dear Hailey, they also weakened me daily. But I guess you'll never know your kisses gave me mono.

By: sil50 | Category: Poetry | Score: 4| Added: 20 Dec 2011

Recollections

- Recollections On the road moving at a hurried pace, Big blade mounted on the front. Peering into the dark, smile on my face. Tires gripping hard, with a grunt. From the sky fluffy flakes, Gent...

By: CKAcres | Category: Poetry | Score: 4.9| Added: 20 Dec 2011

Santa, maybe?

- Spectacular is the only word that can describe the view from the plane window flying into Jackson Hole, Wyoming. One gets fearful as the Grand Tetons appear as though they will scrape the bottom of th...

By: Jackson_Banks | Category: Humor | Score: 5| Added: 14 Dec 2011

A Jocund Poetic Musing: Bury or Cremate?

- Beneath the ground you are alone completely by yourself. In an urn you simply chill on your wife’s closet shelf. Before they put you in the soil you pray for absolution. After you’re a London Broi...

By: rantingsenior | Category: Poetry | Score: 4.8| Added: 08 Dec 2011

The Teacher

- I want to teach my dog, Some tricks that are new, Like sit, fetch and heel, As a dog’s expected to do. But after many hours, Things are not going good, For despite all my efforts, She won’t do as sh...

By: DirtyMartini | Category: Poetry | Score: 4.8| Added: 20 Nov 2011

The Shirts Out the Door

- The wife surveyed the closet and let out a sigh. With a roll of her eyes, she said, “Why, my dear, why?” How many knit shirts could one man possibly need? Ten? Twenty? More, perchance...but eighty-fo...

By: magnificent1rascal | Category: Poetry | Score: 5| Added: 03 Nov 2011

The Truly Special People---Investment Bankers

- Above the mundane mortal plane in which most men survive, there soars an anointed regal clan that’s guaranteed to thrive. A group that eats the finest foods whenever it fêtes and dines. A crowd...

By: rantingsenior | Category: Poetry | Score: 4.9| Added: 02 Nov 2011

The Shirts Out the Door

- The wife surveyed the closet and let out a sigh. How many knit shirts could one man possibly need? Ten? Twenty? More, perchance...but eighty-four? Indeed! With a roll of her eyes, she said, “Why...

By: magnificent1rascal | Category: Poetry | Score: 4.9| Added: 01 Nov 2011

The Obviously Mundane vs. the Darkly Sick Insane

- Many a debonair doctor takes his girlfriends out to eat. Doctor Lechter invites them in and tries to eat their feet. Raising a child is difficult and can take many tracks. Lizzy Borden’s derailed ...

By: rantingsenior | Category: Poetry | Score: 4.9| Added: 25 Oct 2011

A stitch in time saves nine…..or is it deadly?

- One often hears it uttered that “a stitch in time saves nine.” And then a knowing nod ensues implying all is fine. But I for one have never been a booster of that quote. I’ve pondered exactly w...

By: rantingsenior | Category: Poetry | Score: 5| Added: 22 Oct 2011

How Oprah Turned My Life Around 360 Degrees

- I often was thinking about slowly sinking as I became older and weak. I always was wary that old age was scary because I would mumble and leak. I’d sit and I’d cry feeling that I would die and that...

By: rantingsenior | Category: Poetry | Score: 4.9| Added: 21 Oct 2011

There is Nothing to Fear but Fear Itself?

- “There is nothing to fear but fear itself.” I’ve heard this many times. And as far as I know, this Roosevelt quote has not been explored much in rhymes. Now I admit that the line sounds great, p...

By: rantingsenior | Category: Poetry | Score: 5| Added: 19 Oct 2011

Is it better to travel in hope than to arrive?

- “It is better to travel in hope than to arrive..” I heard this quote from a thoughtful man who had heard it in the past. He apparently was well traveled, as the quote had an Eastern cast. It sug...

By: rantingsenior | Category: Poetry | Score: 2.9| Added: 16 Oct 2011

I Am So Very Special!

- I am a truly complex soul; so many layers are there. The outer one is cold and hard, but the one beneath does care. The next one is a delicate blend of gentleness and love. But beneath that is a h...

By: rantingsenior | Category: Poetry | Score: 4.8| Added: 14 Oct 2011

Sushi Surprise-----The Director’s Cut

- I like to eat real pink raw fish. I’ll put one on my little dish. I’ll stroke the tiny, delicate fin. The little eyes will make me grin. I’ll lay it on its scaly side. Then I’ll remove the fish...

By: rantingsenior | Category: Poetry | Score: 4.8| Added: 10 Oct 2011

What a Difference One Word Can Make!

- A big roll of cash means that you can bet to win! A big roll of fat can have you dosing insulin. Being fabulously rich means going where you want to go! Eating fabulously rich might mean pain in your...

By: rantingsenior | Category: Poetry | Score: 4.9| Added: 09 Oct 2011

Medical Personnel Limericks I

- A weight-lifting phlebotomist Russell, had a humongous bicep muscle. A vein he would grab and then give a hard stab. Often he and the patient would tussle. A young gastro doctor named Nate, could nev...

By: rantingsenior | Category: Poetry | Score: 4.7| Added: 06 Oct 2011

Ode to the Common Man

- Some of us will leave our mark when we illuminate the dark and make the world a richer, better place. Some of us will lessen pain or make people be born again and thus impact upon the human race. So...

By: rantingsenior | Category: Poetry | Score: 4.8| Added: 04 Oct 2011

Again and Again: The Endless Loop

- Hey, listen up! Here’s a fantastic notion! You ought to hurry and put it in motion. What’s that, you don’t like it? In fact you disagree? I'll just keep repeating, ’til you concur with me. ...

By: magnificent1rascal | Category: Poetry | Score: 5| Added: 23 Sep 2011

Relatives

- At family gatherings throughout the year, There are those who add to the holiday cheer, Those who brighten up your day, Every time they come your way. Most are a pleasure to be around, As fine as any...

By: DirtyMartini | Category: Poetry | Score: 4.7| Added: 11 Sep 2011

Badges

- I sit in a chat room by myself, Only nineteen more days to go, One day I’ll be a legend, With another badge to show. Next I’ll try to add some friends, I only need ninety-eight more, I m...

By: DirtyMartini | Category: Poetry | Score: 4.9| Added: 21 Aug 2011